Molly is still recovering from the recent birth of her son, and her computer is down, so I'm not sure if she'll be posting this week.
Sal is on vacation this week so will be absent.
Kristen and Jenna haven't posted yet so I won't try to link them now.
I was on vacation last week, and as I was preparing both for that and my youth group talk, I didn't do the reviews of chapters 15 and 16. I thought I'd do them when I got back, but here it is Tuesday again and time for chapters 17 and 18. I think I will be better serving the Lord as a wife and mother if I do not try to do four chapters now! So I will just do 17 and 18.
I have to say, that although I have not been doing the activities at the end of every chapter, that this book has had a great effect on me and I think a very positive effect on my marriage. I hope so anyway. I know there are changes in my attitude and some actions as well so I pray that the changes will bless my husband and children.
Chapter 17 "To love their children."
In the first part of this chapter Mrs Pearl shares a letter from a woman who has realized that the attitude she has toward her husband will have great repercussion on her children as well. Mrs Pearl commends her by saying that she is loving her children by loving their dad.
I remember seeing a plaque in someone's home that read: The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother." If the love mentioned is a true, Christ-honoring, lay-down-your-life type of love, then I certainly agree. And the same is true if we swap the names of mom and dad around. I'm not talking about some overly-sensual, possessive, exclusive love, but again the Christ-honoring, Bible-taught kind of love that we have been speaking of as we review these chapters.
The next part of the chapter deals with the problem that some women face, that of really seeking a lot of neat feelings in their daily life under the guise of "spirituality" or "meeting with God". A woman wrote to the Pearls complaining about the lack of help in her life and the lack of time with God. This woman sends her children out to school! So she still doesn't have the time needed to take care of her home and have time with God??
Mrs Pearl wrote to her and pointed out that the woman's calling was to serve her family. The Pearls have some strong words about this desire to stimulate one's own inner feelings as opposed to appropriate worship which is available to us all through the day. I feel it very noteworthy (as do the Pearls as Mrs Pearl points this passage out) that when Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, that when Peter said yes, Jesus didn't say "then spend loads of time meditating and praying and make sure you have plenty of prayer meetings with others" but rather "Feed my sheep." A very practical task which of course means needing to have Bible study and prayer but it is still about serving others and being outward-looking instead of looking for some neat experience.
Mrs Pearl encourages us to read Bible verses throughout the day and meditate upon them and/or sing as we go about our tasks, and serving our family by doing all the little things we so often do as mothers.
The next part was very convicting to me as although I am a home-schooling mother I fail to take advantage of many of the opportunities I have to instruct my children. Mrs Pearl mentions simple things like talking about what Dad does at work, or that the cookies have whole wheat flour and why that flour is used. I need to work on communicating bits of information a little more often throughout the day.
The last two parts of the chapter are about the same thing - with different emphases. Mrs Pearl encourages us to remember that a mother needs to be a mother all the time - not the evening/early morning caregiver before "adopting the child out" every day. Nurturing requires time and children need stability which doesn't come from being passed around from one caregiver to another. I know that there are women who are in the sad position of needing to work because their husbands require it or some other circumstance. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty over things they can't control. But I know that so many women are making a choice to put their children in daycare or at a babysitter's house, have a nanny, etc when it is not actually a need. I have worked in two daycares. One was not that great, the other was very good for the care it provided - but I still would not recommend anyone put their child there! A loving, God-seeking mother at home provides the best care for a child.
The last part is quite sad, and is a sobering warning that I assume comes from both knowledge through pastoring that the Pearls do, and the statistics available. In brief, don't assume that because you are at church, or some other environment you think is safe, that your children will be safe if they wander out of your eyesight. It takes only a few minutes for a child to be forever affected by a harmful experience.
I remember seeing a plaque in someone's home that read: The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother." If the love mentioned is a true, Christ-honoring, lay-down-your-life type of love, then I certainly agree. And the same is true if we swap the names of mom and dad around. I'm not talking about some overly-sensual, possessive, exclusive love, but again the Christ-honoring, Bible-taught kind of love that we have been speaking of as we review these chapters.
The next part of the chapter deals with the problem that some women face, that of really seeking a lot of neat feelings in their daily life under the guise of "spirituality" or "meeting with God". A woman wrote to the Pearls complaining about the lack of help in her life and the lack of time with God. This woman sends her children out to school! So she still doesn't have the time needed to take care of her home and have time with God??
Mrs Pearl wrote to her and pointed out that the woman's calling was to serve her family. The Pearls have some strong words about this desire to stimulate one's own inner feelings as opposed to appropriate worship which is available to us all through the day. I feel it very noteworthy (as do the Pearls as Mrs Pearl points this passage out) that when Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, that when Peter said yes, Jesus didn't say "then spend loads of time meditating and praying and make sure you have plenty of prayer meetings with others" but rather "Feed my sheep." A very practical task which of course means needing to have Bible study and prayer but it is still about serving others and being outward-looking instead of looking for some neat experience.
Mrs Pearl encourages us to read Bible verses throughout the day and meditate upon them and/or sing as we go about our tasks, and serving our family by doing all the little things we so often do as mothers.
The next part was very convicting to me as although I am a home-schooling mother I fail to take advantage of many of the opportunities I have to instruct my children. Mrs Pearl mentions simple things like talking about what Dad does at work, or that the cookies have whole wheat flour and why that flour is used. I need to work on communicating bits of information a little more often throughout the day.
The last two parts of the chapter are about the same thing - with different emphases. Mrs Pearl encourages us to remember that a mother needs to be a mother all the time - not the evening/early morning caregiver before "adopting the child out" every day. Nurturing requires time and children need stability which doesn't come from being passed around from one caregiver to another. I know that there are women who are in the sad position of needing to work because their husbands require it or some other circumstance. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty over things they can't control. But I know that so many women are making a choice to put their children in daycare or at a babysitter's house, have a nanny, etc when it is not actually a need. I have worked in two daycares. One was not that great, the other was very good for the care it provided - but I still would not recommend anyone put their child there! A loving, God-seeking mother at home provides the best care for a child.
The last part is quite sad, and is a sobering warning that I assume comes from both knowledge through pastoring that the Pearls do, and the statistics available. In brief, don't assume that because you are at church, or some other environment you think is safe, that your children will be safe if they wander out of your eyesight. It takes only a few minutes for a child to be forever affected by a harmful experience.
Chapter 18
"To be discreet".
Mrs Pearl points out that discretion is more than just avoiding what is inappropriate, or doing something without notice. The word also means to have good taste or judgement, courteous, honest.
"To be discreet".
Mrs Pearl points out that discretion is more than just avoiding what is inappropriate, or doing something without notice. The word also means to have good taste or judgement, courteous, honest.
After discussing the meaning of the word, Mrs Pearl goes on to give examples of the meanings of discretion as courtesy or consideration of others. In the discussion of honesty, Mrs Pearl gives the example of a woman taking many packets of sugar home from the restaurant/diner while using only the one in her coffee.
Graciousness is discussed next, which in this example to me looks more like thankfulness is the topic. A woman wrote to the Pearls about her husband spending too much money on a stove which was for her. The root of the problem was her view of her husband as inept, and her lack of seeing the stove as an "extravagant gesture of devoted husbandly love" instead of another mistake her husband made.
The chapter finishes with twelve questions a wife can ask that will tear down her house. I'm not sure I agree with every little bit here, but the theme is the woman's lack of respect and confidence in her husband and the list is good for careful thought.
Graciousness is discussed next, which in this example to me looks more like thankfulness is the topic. A woman wrote to the Pearls about her husband spending too much money on a stove which was for her. The root of the problem was her view of her husband as inept, and her lack of seeing the stove as an "extravagant gesture of devoted husbandly love" instead of another mistake her husband made.
The chapter finishes with twelve questions a wife can ask that will tear down her house. I'm not sure I agree with every little bit here, but the theme is the woman's lack of respect and confidence in her husband and the list is good for careful thought.
