Now, this was a day before the 7/21 bombing attempts in London.   I think we may be seeing a lot more action, folks.  Maybe this is a good time for prayer and fasting.

Oh, I never really finished my review of Created to Be His Help Meet.  There was one last chapter.  I don't feel it was as helpful as other chapters, so I'll leave it.  I will say that generally the book was very helpful to me, and for some women would really recommend it. 

(Edited July 23 to add hat tip.)

I hope to post on the next chapter later today.  Got to get some other things done first.

                                                     

In the section "A Good Woman is Prudent" encourages women to be learners and doers and not wait around for the husband to do all the household repairs.  I feel she comes on a little too strong in this, and doesn't realize that different families have different dynamics and situations or people have differing limitations (for instance, I don't drive here, and don't have a car in the daytime, so going out to hardware stores and buying repair stuff isn't all that easy - other women may have other situations) but  she is absolutely right in that we women ought to do what we can do, which may take some learning, instead of moaning about our husband's lack of motivation and accomplishments.  Many of us can get at least some of the yard work done, sometimes (I know it is not always possible to do even that on some days or in some seasons of life) , and if it is possible to do anything, it is wiser to get something accomplished than to gripe.  I think the idea is to be willing to learn and to try - not sit around and wait for hubby to do it all, and complain when he doesn't.

Another plus to doing some home repairs is that you can teach your children practical skills at the same time.

Most of the chapter is devoted to more discussion of the value of being a learner, and being a doer instead of being idle.  There are some good comments in the part about the Proverbs 31 woman.  I really agree with her advice to spend time learning things (how to do things, or about health, that sort of thing) instead of intertaining oneself with fiction.  Not that I think fiction is bad - I enjoy some - but instead of spending all one's reading time in fiction, a prudent, virtuous wife should be acquiring knowledge that will help her do her job. 

The next chapter is about being subject to one's own husband.  I think there is some good stuff there although  my original caveat applies - take what's good and spit out the seeds!  I'll leave chapter 22 for tomorrow or later though, so I may be a good wife myself and do some things I need to do here at home!

Thinking back on it, I just needed more teaching by pastors, and older women.  Bible studies led by older women especially for the younger women, would have been very helpful.   I needed to understand how men were wired and how my dress would influence them.  I needed to understand the Scriptures better. (I Timothy 2:9, I Peter 3:1-4 for starters)  A combination of sources of information would have made a big difference in some of my wardrobe choices when I was in my 20's.

Remembering my ignorance helps me to be a little more patient with the Christian girls and women I see who are dressed immodestly - I realize they may honestly not know how their display of skin or shape can affect the guys around them.  I just wish that we could have more dialogue about it and we definitely need more direct (and sometimes blunt) teaching about modesty. 

What frustrates me most though are the women who refuse to believe that this is an issue.  They run the gamut of those who believe that they should be allowed to do as they like as they have "freedom in Christ" (I Corinthians 6:19, 20; Romans 12:1-3) to those  who refuse to believe that men in general are any different than women in general as to their response to stimuli (let the reader understand).  Well, as I think on it, many women are deluded by both those errors.  Oh, I forgot the "but that's what the shops are selling" argument!   Incredible!  I know it's been difficult here in the UK for the last couple of years to find modest clothing for young ladies, but it is possible with some diligence and willingness to think outside the box a wee bit.

Mrs Pearl spends most of the chapter speaking about the clothing that women professing Godliness should wear.  Nowhere does she lay down rules about color, type of dress (i.e. cape dresses, jumpers etc) or other things that some denominations find important.  Instead she shares with us letters from men that she and her husband have received, and a composite story picture taken from their years of counseling, that we may see the heart of men struggling to remain pure in thought as they are constantly confronted with the immodest dress of so many who call themselves Christian women.  I'll leave those letters and stories and Mrs Pearl's commentaries to those who read the book. 

She deals with the question of pants (trousers) by reminding us of how many times in the Old Testament the word skirt is used in talking about men's garments, and that in many cultures a type of skirt is still used instead of trousers as traditional male dress.  The issue is, she asserts, is one of forbidding cross-dressing. 

Now in my opinion we don't have a lot of trouble in the church with cross-dressing in the sense of deliberately dressing in the opposite gender's clothing in order to confuse or sexually arouse  but we do have too many ladies who are almost cross-dressing as they leave feminine clothing behind as they seek for comfort (as they assume feminine clothing to be uncomfortable or are unwilling to wear the types of feminine clothing that are comfortable), or for fashion, or frankly because they just don't like clothing that marks them as women.   Why this last reason, I wonder?  And it's not just about clothing, but hairstyles as well.  Among some women there is a noticeable rejection of femininity in how they dress - down to frequently wearing very masculine fabric in trouser suits.  No one needs to wear flowery fabric, but it is definitely possible to wear "power clothing" if one must, that is womanly - and modest - in nature instead of taking on more masculine attire, even if one is having to deal with corporate culture (and more to come on that in the next section, chapter 20) .  
By far the greatest problem in the modern church, and this is why Mrs Pearl devotes so much time to it in her chapter, is the lack of modesty in the women's dress.  The letters and stories spell out many of the things that are causing Christian men in their acquaintance to stumble.   And for the men I know who have talked honestly about it, the same things cause them trouble too.   

The bottom line is that what we women wear influences the men around us.   So many women try to deny this by saying men really aren't affected more visually than are women - just a little research at the library or on the internet (carefully!) will confirm that it is.  Honest, forthright talk  from men I have known confirm it too - men in general are visually stimulated in a way that women in general aren't.   So we women need to be careful with what we wear.

Now there are men that will find all sorts of things titillating, but there are some fairly typical things that we can point to.  Credenda Agenda has some very good articles and the Wilsons do a much better job of discussing the subject than I can.  I recommend this article entitled Modest Daughters
and this one called Careless Women.  There are other excellent articles out there to be read.

It always astounds me when women approach this issue with the comment "but that's HIS problem if he has a problem with it, not mine".  Well first we are commanded to dress modestly.  But even if we weren't, wouldn't Christian love dictate that we behave in a manner that does not tempt our brothers?

Oh I have so much more to say.  David made some comments this weekend that I'd like to share with you.   So I guess I will need to make another post tomorrow or the day after, since tomorrow I will likely be in Oxford meeting my former associate pastor and his wife and son as they visit Oxford.

So, please stay tuned for some more discussion on modesty, and for my review (or sharing of my own thoughts after bouncing off the springboard) of Debi Pearl's Created to Be His Help Meet, chapter 20.  Gotta get some new potatoes from Jersey into the pot, to serve with the crockpot meatloaf that has been cooking all afternoon.  Hubby's home!