I meant to do another chapter review of Created to Be His Help Meet yesterday but ran into a couple of crises - with the chickens and with myself (more on that on my other blog, later, hopefully).  In short I got heat exhaustion and was out of action the rest of the day.

I think I am just going to do one chapter at a time from now on.  I may cover 2 chapters a week, but since Sal seems to be the only other one who has continued the reviews (and she has posted her last reviews here),  I suppose that it's OK that I'm not going along with the original plan. There are only 3 more chapters for me to do.

DS2 and I are reading a book called The Mystery of the Golden Pelican (part of the Three Cousins Detective Series) and learned about pelicans being a symbol of Jesus.  The ancient myth about pelicans is that the mother bird, in times of famine, would pluck her breast with her beak and feed her babies with her own blood.  In some versions the mother died in giving her babies life.   Christians took this myth and saw in it a picture of what Jesus did for us.

(Edited June 16 to modify or clarify some thoughts.)

This is another chapter where the principle of "keep the good and spit out the seeds" is really needed for the reader. 

This chapter is about the concept of being Good as listed in Titus 2:4,5 in the list of things the older women are to teach the younger women to be.  Mrs Pearl spends some time on Proverbs 12:4 (which uses a synonym for good - virtuous) "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness to his bones."  She gives some examples where a man may not be all that he should, but if the woman does what is right (like spending money wisely, training the children to be good and obedient, and having the right attitude toward him)  he will be honored.  It will also improve things for her as she encourages his love for her by blessing him, and as she does her best to create a comfortable home.

She contrasts the virtuous woman with the "ball-and-chain" woman who does not care for her children or her home, and is unwise with her husband's money.  Even if he is a good man, her wrong actions cause him to be ashamed.

Now, I'm not so sure about the conclusion to the Ball and Chain section, where Mrs Pearl states "Although a good woman can lift up a poor husband, a good man cannot make up for the deficits of a poor wife and create a family with a good reputation."   I can see how it is likely, I just don't see it as cut-and-dried as is stated here. 

Mrs Pearl includes a small section on "Ridin'-the-Line" ladies who don't do all they can do for the good of their families, but excuse themselves for not being as bad as others!

Last weekend while we were going grocery shopping my husband (who doesn't usually notice a lot about people) - noticed some girls at the bus stop in some modern, flesh-revealing clothing.  He commented that it was not wise to dress that way, with their stomachs showing as it could provoke wrong types of thoughts in men, and could (admittedly an extreme possibility) lead to someone taking their appearance as an invitation, or to the stirring  up of violent feelings. 

We both agreed that the man would certainly be culpable if he did anything legally or morally wrong, and even for having wrong thoughts.  (Matthew 5:28 " -but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  New American Standard Bible) 

I told him that many women, even Christian ones, would protest that it is the man's problem, not hers, and that a woman should be able to wear what she likes.  He knew that, and sort of agreed, but reiterated that it wasn't wise for young girls to be out wearing suggestive (revealing) clothing. 

I commented that even if the Bible did not specifically command for women to wear modest clothing surely just the commandments regarding loving our neighbors would cause Christian women to choose to forego clothing that might provoke lust. (I realize there will be some conflict in people's opinion as to what constitutes modesty - but there are some basics that we can assume just by knowing about average male psychology and responses.)  Sadly, it just does not seem to be the case in most of western Christian life.  It's all about "me" and what "I" want, and yes, even about flaunting one's figure  sometimes.

I know there are a lot of ignorant women out there.  I definitely was one at one time.  I really didn't know much about modesty and how men viewed the female figure.  My standard of modesty was shaped in the main by the ungodly culture around me, which was basically as long as the "privates" were covered, then almost anything could go, depending on the occasion.  I would have viewed lust as totally the man's problem.  This was while I was a follower of Jesus, too. 

This chapter is very short; just four pages long.  It is about the mandate to be "keepers at home" or as my favorite version, the NASB puts it, being "workers at home."   I just wonder, when no one would debate the fact that "young" women are still to be sensible, pure, discreet, chaste, etc, why suddenly the issue of being a keeper/worker at home becomes culturally bound and therefore irrelevant to women in the 21st century?
The definition of keeper in this phrase is not just about staying at home, but of being a guardian, caretaker, someone who watches over the home.  There is so much to do at home, besides the basics of cooking and cleaning.

There is the watching of children, of caring for them - this is more than just keeping them from physical danger, but of guiding them into right activities and fostering growth in spirit and mind as well as body. 

Mrs. Pearl spends some time on the issue of women who would like to stay at home, but whose husbands want them to work.  The key is to have the right attitude, of wanting to both obey God in the issue of staying at home but also of being submitted to one's husband and trusting God to work out any conflict.  She suggests ways of making an appeal and then if it is granted, of learning to live frugally.

She gives several excellent suggestions, but I know that it is sometimes the man who wants the fancier and more expensive items and lifestyle, and I wish Mrs. Pearl would have spent a little more time on this situation.  I know the answer would be to submit and commit it to the Lord, but I still wish she would have given some encouragement to wives in this position. 

I have found Amy Dacyzyn's (sp?) books to be very helpful in learning to think of ways to be frugal.  She wrote a newsletter called the Tightwad Gazette and later put the various issues into books, still called the Tightwad Gazette (there's a II and a III I think).  Another thing I find helpful in learning to budget is to learn thankfulness and contentment.

I am not perfect in the budget arena but I am grateful to be able to do what I feel God has called me to do, to be a home-worker and a full-time mother to my children.  Some days I need to put my heart into it a little more, but that is part of the sanctification I hope that God is working in my life.

Mrs. Pearl discusses the modern phenomena of women leaving home via their phones and computers although they may still physically be in the home itself.  The issues are idleness and gossip.

She finishes by painting a picture of a woman busy at home, doing good to both her children and husband and keeping the home "so that when Daddy comes home, it is to a sanctuary of peace, love, and order." (p.212)

Tall order, but what a blessing when we acheive it!

Created to Be His Help Meet, by Debi Pearl.  This post is part of a series of reviews of this book which focusses on the woman's role in marriage.  Both of the Pearls call things as they see them and although never coarse, their writing can be uncomfortably direct for some readers.  I have not agreed with every little thing in this book but find it extremely Biblical when it gets down to the meat and bones of what a married Christian woman's role and task should be.  I recommend this book to those who are willing to explore - with the Bible alongside to test everything - both the Biblical mandates for women and the current errors of modern thinking and practice.  My reviews do go beyond simply reviewing the chapters though, as I use them as a springboard to present my own thoughts or direct readers to other writers.

I hope to do chapter 20 later today, or perhaps tomorrow.  I see that Sal of Stand Up and Walk has already got her post up.   Well done Sal. 
Chapter 19 features the directive "to be chaste" from Titus 2:4-5. 

chapters 17 and 18.

Molly is still recovering from the recent birth of her son, and her computer is down, so I'm not sure if she'll be posting this week.
Sal is on vacation this week so will be absent.
Kristen and Jenna haven't posted yet so I won't try to link them now.

I was on vacation last week, and as I was preparing both for that and my youth group talk, I didn't do the reviews of chapters 15 and 16.  I thought I'd do them when I got back, but here it is Tuesday again and time for chapters 17 and 18.  I think I will be better serving the Lord as a wife and mother if I do not try to do four chapters now!  So I will just do 17 and 18.

I have to say, that although I have not been doing the activities at the end of every chapter, that this book has had a great effect on me and I think a very positive effect on my marriage.  I hope so anyway.  I know there are changes in my attitude and some actions as well so I pray that the changes will bless my husband and children.

Chapter 17 "To love their children."

..from a trip to Wales.  We left Monday and came back late Friday.  Yesterday we did a little unpacking and recuperating!  The holiday camp we went to was booked by a bunch of us homeschooling families for the week.  The children can roam around and play tennis, golf or miniature golf, several indoors games, ride on their scooters, play on two playgrounds, etc.  The adults watch their little children if they have them and talk to other adults or interact with older children.  We really enjoy the time there and meeting up with other families.

I'll put some photos up on my other blog page when I get my photos sorted.  Yesterday DH was on the computer a lot looking at rocket stuff.   Every time we go to the "resort" (I don't know what to call it really - Cefn Lea is a Christian conference center and vacation resort place) there has been a man there who does rocketry with his sons, and has set off the rockets with an appreciative audience looking on.  This time he brought along several rocket kits one could buy and put together.  My dh got two and built our ds2's rocket for him, and Ds1 did his himself.  This took a few sessions of a couple of hours each and finally on Thursday evening they were able to launch the rockets.  Now DH is interested in getting the stuff necessary to launch the rockets (special stand thing and extra engines, etc etc) so I hardly got on the computer yesterday!  Last night we walked over to a field that belongs to the town, for playing on, and saw that it was big enough to do rockets on if the council allows it.  I think I'll need to phone and find out.


About my talk that I did for the youth group last Sunday.  I felt it went fairly well, though, it was difficult for me to know whether the kids were real interested or not.  I talked and used a MS PowerPoint presentation to add visual interest.  I began with two photos/drawings that showed pictures of a housewife drudge type woman, then two ladies dresssed up in fancy hats having tea - and asked if either of those were how they viewed a stay-at-home woman, and said when I was young those were the images people presented to me of what a SAHM was.  I talked about how my family expectations did not seem to include being a SAHM (although later I found out that one parent thought it was fine) and how I was raised in an age of definite feminism and careerism.

I then presented three Scriptures, on the Power Point Slides: Psalm 127, Psalm 128, and Titus 2:4, 5. I didn't comment much on those Scriptures but said that at some point when I was single I started to get a vision, through Scripture that I hadn't really noticed before, of what God meant for family life.  I did point out about how if we did not follow the 8 items wives were to do, that we were dishonoring the word of God.  I do feel I stumbled a bit here a bit as I was trying to both put forward the seriousness of obeying all of this passage, yet remain tactful.
I then used three aspects of the Titus 2 passage to outline what I did as a SAHM.  I put up a slide blank except for  the phrase from Titus that I wanted to talk about.  The first was about "loving their husbands" and having received David's help in figuring out what to say for this part, talked about doing small things for him, like cups of tea, making meals, and being glad to see him when he came home, and making sure we had time together to communicate.  Early in our marriage we realized the danger of being a couple with "him gone Monday Wednesday and Friday and her gone Tuesday Thursday and Saturday evenings" - i.e. of allowing ourselves to drift apart because of spending too much time apart doing separate things.   I used various photos to illustrate the concepts

Then I talked about "loving their children" and started off with a photo of a cyber-friend's new baby, with a ribbon round her and a tag saying "Love, God".  I mentioned that what I was about to say might be a little controversial but since the main youth leader (one of the elders) said it was OK to introduce a little controversy, that I'd go ahead - and spoke about how we received  children as unconditional blessings.  I mentioned how it affected our lives and how it was a walk of faith.  Then I talked about homeschooling since that is a major part of our day.  I had a few photos for this section too.

Then I spoke about "being workers at home."  I had some slides that I hope were both humorous and informative about all the resources and tools we have at our disposal nowadays to help us.  I confessed that I am not a perfect housekeeper but I try to do a decent job on those tasks that are important.

I talked about opportunities I had to influence my world for Christ - by talking on a radio show one day, and contacting a state governor over a serious issue (didn't mention Terri Schiavo but that was the issue) and said although I am at home mostly I still am able to reach out to others in various ways.  I mentioned about the joy I had, and how I appreciated the freedom to organize my day instead of having to do what a boss wanted and how I was glad to not have the conflicts many women do when they work of being subject to both a boss and their husbands.

will be delayed this week due to my schedule - was very busy this weekend and will be this week, but hopefully I will be able to catch up at some point!  I'm sorry for the delay. 

I'm giving my talk to the youth group at church, about my life as a Stay at Home, homeschooling mom.
Please pray that I'll say exactly what God wants me to.  I don't want to add stuff that I shouldn't, nor not say things because I'm afraid it might offend.  Thanks.