Last weekend while we were going grocery shopping my husband (who doesn't usually notice a lot about people) - noticed some girls at the bus stop in some modern, flesh-revealing clothing. He commented that it was not wise to dress that way, with their stomachs showing as it could provoke wrong types of thoughts in men, and could (admittedly an extreme possibility) lead to someone taking their appearance as an invitation, or to the stirring up of violent feelings.
We both agreed that the man would certainly be culpable if he did anything legally or morally wrong, and even for having wrong thoughts. (Matthew 5:28 " -but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." New American Standard Bible)
I told him that many women, even Christian ones, would protest that it is the man's problem, not hers, and that a woman should be able to wear what she likes. He knew that, and sort of agreed, but reiterated that it wasn't wise for young girls to be out wearing suggestive (revealing) clothing.
I commented that even if the Bible did not specifically command for women to wear modest clothing surely just the commandments regarding loving our neighbors would cause Christian women to choose to forego clothing that might provoke lust. (I realize there will be some conflict in people's opinion as to what constitutes modesty - but there are some basics that we can assume just by knowing about average male psychology and responses.) Sadly, it just does not seem to be the case in most of western Christian life. It's all about "me" and what "I" want, and yes, even about flaunting one's figure sometimes.
I know there are a lot of ignorant women out there. I definitely was one at one time. I really didn't know much about modesty and how men viewed the female figure. My standard of modesty was shaped in the main by the ungodly culture around me, which was basically as long as the "privates" were covered, then almost anything could go, depending on the occasion. I would have viewed lust as totally the man's problem. This was while I was a follower of Jesus, too.
Thinking back on it, I just needed more teaching by pastors, and older women. Bible studies led by older women especially for the younger women, would have been very helpful. I needed to understand how men were wired and how my dress would influence them. I needed to understand the Scriptures better. (I Timothy 2:9, I Peter 3:1-4 for starters) A combination of sources of information would have made a big difference in some of my wardrobe choices when I was in my 20's.
Remembering my ignorance helps me to be a little more patient with the Christian girls and women I see who are dressed immodestly - I realize they may honestly not know how their display of skin or shape can affect the guys around them. I just wish that we could have more dialogue about it and we definitely need more direct (and sometimes blunt) teaching about modesty.
What frustrates me most though are the women who refuse to believe that this is an issue. They run the gamut of those who believe that they should be allowed to do as they like as they have "freedom in Christ" (I Corinthians 6:19, 20; Romans 12:1-3) to those who refuse to believe that men in general are any different than women in general as to their response to stimuli (let the reader understand). Well, as I think on it, many women are deluded by both those errors. Oh, I forgot the "but that's what the shops are selling" argument! Incredible! I know it's been difficult here in the UK for the last couple of years to find modest clothing for young ladies, but it is possible with some diligence and willingness to think outside the box a wee bit.
I am so saddened that Christians are perceived by certain others (even fairly liberal ones) of our earthly neighbors as immodest. What sort of testimony are we leaving? I am saddened when I would hesitate to invite a friend (male) to church because of what he might see there. It should not be so among the people of God.
