, by Debi Pearl. This post is part of a series of reviews of this book which focusses on the woman's role in marriage. Both of the Pearls call things as they see them and although never coarse, their writing can be uncomfortably direct for some readers. I have not agreed with every little thing in this book but find it extremely Biblical when it gets down to the meat and bones of what a married Christian woman's role and task should be. I recommend this book to those who are willing to explore - with the Bible alongside to test everything - both the Biblical mandates for women and the current errors of modern thinking and practice. My reviews do go beyond simply reviewing the chapters though, as I use them as a springboard to present my own thoughts or direct readers to other writers.
Mrs Pearl spends most of the chapter speaking about the clothing that women professing Godliness should wear. Nowhere does she lay down rules about color, type of dress (i.e. cape dresses, jumpers etc) or other things that some denominations find important. Instead she shares with us letters from men that she and her husband have received, and a composite story picture taken from their years of counseling, that we may see the heart of men struggling to remain pure in thought as they are constantly confronted with the immodest dress of so many who call themselves Christian women. I'll leave those letters and stories and Mrs Pearl's commentaries to those who read the book.
She deals with the question of pants (trousers) by reminding us of how many times in the Old Testament the word skirt is used in talking about men's garments, and that in many cultures a type of skirt is still used instead of trousers as traditional male dress. The issue is, she asserts, is one of forbidding cross-dressing.
Now in my opinion we don't have a lot of trouble in the church with cross-dressing in the sense of deliberately dressing in the opposite gender's clothing in order to confuse or sexually arouse but we do have too many ladies who are almost cross-dressing as they leave feminine clothing behind as they seek for comfort (as they assume feminine clothing to be uncomfortable or are unwilling to wear the types of feminine clothing that are comfortable), or for fashion, or frankly because they just don't like clothing that marks them as women. Why this last reason, I wonder? And it's not just about clothing, but hairstyles as well. Among some women there is a noticeable rejection of femininity in how they dress - down to frequently wearing very masculine fabric in trouser suits. No one needs to wear flowery fabric, but it is definitely possible to wear "power clothing" if one must, that is womanly - and modest - in nature instead of taking on more masculine attire, even if one is having to deal with corporate culture (and more to come on that in the next section, chapter 20) .
By far the greatest problem in the modern church, and this is why Mrs Pearl devotes so much time to it in her chapter, is the lack of modesty in the women's dress. The letters and stories spell out many of the things that are causing Christian men in their acquaintance to stumble. And for the men I know who have talked honestly about it, the same things cause them trouble too.
The bottom line is that what we women wear influences the men around us. So many women try to deny this by saying men really aren't affected more visually than are women - just a little research at the library or on the internet (carefully!) will confirm that it is. Honest, forthright talk from men I have known confirm it too - men in general are visually stimulated in a way that women in general aren't. So we women need to be careful with what we wear.
Now there are men that will find all sorts of things titillating, but there are some fairly typical things that we can point to. Credenda Agenda has some very good articles and the Wilsons do a much better job of discussing the subject than I can. I recommend this article entitled
Modest Daughters
and this one called
Careless Women. There are other excellent articles out there to be read.
It always astounds me when women approach this issue with the comment "but that's HIS problem if he has a problem with it, not mine". Well first we are commanded to dress modestly. But even if we weren't, wouldn't Christian love dictate that we behave in a manner that does not tempt our brothers?
Oh I have so much more to say. David made some comments this weekend that I'd like to share with you. So I guess I will need to make another post tomorrow or the day after, since tomorrow I will likely be in Oxford meeting my former associate pastor and his wife and son as they visit Oxford.
So, please stay tuned for some more discussion on modesty, and for my review (or sharing of my own thoughts after bouncing off the springboard) of Debi Pearl's Created to Be His Help Meet, chapter 20. Gotta get some new potatoes from Jersey into the pot, to serve with the crockpot meatloaf that has been cooking all afternoon. Hubby's home!
